Embracing the 'Stretch': How to Perform at Your Best in Challenging Times
How to maintain your cool and produce results in unfavourable situations
Welcome and thank you for checking out Optimise Me, a bi-monthly newsletter sharing research-backed, practical tips to help you optimise your self-growth and personal productivity.
The first quarter of the year is usually one of the most humbling. You enter the year with grandiose plans and a commitment to perfection. You think that everything will be fine and work out exactly the way you expect it. Your 14-day maximum sprint of perfect habits and seeing consistency motivated you in January.
Until it doesn’t.
You aren’t the only person who felt that there were moments of the first quarter of the year, that felt like you were being run over by a train. It was hard for many of us - dealing with negative emotions, unexpected loss, unexpected hardships, pain and many more unforeseen circumstances that may have knocked us off kilter.
How do you continue to pursue consistency and work towards your goals, even amidst the reality of setbacks? How do you programme yourself to perform under high intensity, high-stakes and highly-pressured situations?
How do you keep going - even when you are being stretched?
High performers are programmed differently. There are studies which show that there are neurological differences in the response to adversity between high performers, and low performers. High performers deal with stress differently, employ different strategies, which then actually become a part of their neural pathways.
But fret not. You are not biologically destined to be a ‘low performer’ - recent studies have shown that due to a phenomenon called ‘neuroplasticity’, the brain is able to change and restructure itself.
That means you can change your response to adversity. You can change your response to challenge.
You can change your response to ‘the stretch’.
Lean in to ‘Affect Regulation’
Affect regulation is the initiating and inhibiting of actions which are triggered by emotions, by processing your emotions and modulating your responses. In plain english, working through and choosing to respond in a healthy way, based on your interpretation of your emotions and environment. I’ve written a whole newsletter here on self-awareness, attachment theory and affect regulation.
Effective affect regulation helps us cope with the stresses of daily life, build and maintain positive relationships, and engage in meaningful activities. It also enables us to respond appropriately to challenging situations, make wise decisions, and adapt to changing circumstances.
There are many practical ways to utilise affect regulation techniques, including physical exercise, meditation, cognitive reframing and reaching out to family friends. Many can be used in combination with each other, to get you used to challenging negative thoughts.
⚡️ ACTION: Pick at least one ‘affect regulation’ technique from above to utilise in response to a major challenge or setback you have faced recently.
Resistance as building resilience and character
Adversity is a reality of life, and one the human experiences we cannot get away from. However, we often find that online and in society these days, we drown our sorrows with addictive substances, 5 minute motivational videos, and instantly gratifying indulgences. The truth is, resilience and endurance are equally as important to cultivate in individuals.
One of the biggest reasons I adore working out (which I believe everyone MUST do) is due to the life lessons it provides you with. When we train to build muscle, it is necessary to cause micro tears in the tissue from progressive resistance overload. In essence, in order to grow, we must ‘break’, ‘tear’ and stretch ourselves. In cardiovascular training, your VO2 max is built by progressively stretching out the work you put your body under over longer periods of time.
Sometimes, in order to grow, you must break. You must come up against resistance. Rather than seeing resistance in your life as something sent to knock you down, think of it as an opportunity to grow. An opportunity to acquire new skills, a new outlook, new relationships, and a new fire.
Resistance builds resilience. Resilience builds character. Character builds life.
⚡️ ACTION: Choose one area of your life that has been failing recently, due to some form of resistance. Reframe by asking yourself, ‘what can this experience teach me, and what can I do to overcome?’
Get obsessed with overcoming
It’s time to get obsessed with overcoming obstacles. Get obsessed with eventually winning. Get obsessed with the end goal.
We often see obsession as something inherently bad. After all, many of us associate obsession with stalker-ish behaviours and negative outcomes. However, when we allow ourselves to channel 100% of our energy in short bursts to achieve a desired outcome, we give ourselves a higher possibility of achieving a positive outcome.
Overcoming challenges requires pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and developing new skills and abilities. By being obsessed with overcoming challenges, you can continuously challenge yourself to grow and develop.
⚡️ ACTION: Define a time period (or time during the day) where you will commit to being ‘obsessed’ with problem solving. For example, spend 20 minutes reflecting on an issue that arose for you recently. What are the ways that you can solve this issue?
💡 Re-Cap:
Pick at least one ‘affect regulation’ technique from above to utilise in response to a major challenge or setback you have faced recently.
Choose one area of your life that has been failing recently, due to some form of resistance. Reframe by asking yourself, ‘what can this experience teach me, and what can I do to overcome?’
Define a time period (or time during the day) where you will commit to being ‘obsessed’ with problem solving. For example, spend 20 minutes reflecting on an issue that arose for you recently. What are the ways that you can solve this issue?
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"We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated." — Maya Angelou